1. Know what movies he has been in and own all or almost all of them.

2. Know when and where he was born

3. Can quote chapter and verse (or volume and scene) in any movie when he has "the look", "the stare", "the sighs", "the walk", "the smile."

4. Can quote chapter and verse to anyone if they ask about any of his movies.

5. Can identify the following quotes (movie) and to whom they are spoken or replied:

"I don't understand it. The man's actually turned red now."

"Damned silly way to spend an evening"

"Are you hinting that I could be unfaithful to my husband?"

6. You can act out and give the stage direction for a particular scene.

7. Can recite entire scenes, all characters, from either Pride and Prejudice or Bridget Jones's Diary.

8. Have learned Regency dancing.

9. Know what Mr. Beveridge's Maggot is and it's significance.

10. Know the following character and their relationship to Colin's character in the movie:

Mrs. Jenkinson

Kafir Agahni

Madame De Rosemonde

Mr. Tilney

Frederick Crestwell

Miss Prism

Alistair Payne

Sandy Pannick

Joshua C. Holroyd

"Benny" Hogan

Rebecca Gillies (sp)

11. Know the following actor/actress and part they played in one of Colin's movies:

Fabia Drake

Celia Imrie

David Threlfall

Peter Reeves

Stephen Fry

Robert Norman

Naveen Andrews

Harriet Walker

Steven Beard

12. Own five or more books his movies are based on.

13. Watch P & P or BJD 3 or more times a week.

14. Count the days until his next movie is released:  29 February 2008 - The Accidental Husband - UK, 25 April 2008 - Then She Found Me - US

of The Last Legion

15. Know exactly the amount of on screen time he has in each movie.

16. Know what billing he has in each movie.

17. Have interjected  right, not a tall, so it would seem,  tolerable I suppose, sorry?, are you alright? I love you, for God's sake and other Colin sayings into your everyday conversation.

17a. Have also added: bugger off, sod off, bollocks, better dash, I am quite put out, I am extremely vexed, make haste and constantly inquire of friends and acquaintances "And I hope that your family is in good health."

18. Can explain to anyone the differences and omissions from the book to the movie of any of his films.

19. Have a full list of gaffs or flaws from the movies.

20. Can identify all of your friends and family members as a character from one of his films.

21. Have 5X7s and 8X10s of Colin, from different years, hanging with your family pictures.

22. Show your husband (or significant other) scenes where he sighs and ask them to learn how to do that EXACTLY the same way.

23. Go out and buy a paddling pool and jump in half naked.

24. Dye your hair dark brown and tell your spouse to go to black hair, get a perm, grow longer sideburns and buy dark brown contact lenses.

25. or you buy your spouse any of the following:

long black winter coat

long brown winter coat

long white winter coat

actually any long winter coat

gray turtle neck sweater

green turtleneck sweater with a reindeer appliqué

medium blue pinstripe suit

several royal blue shirts

several deep red dress shirts

black jeans

cravats and stiff collared shirts

a white chemise

ruffled shirts

12 inch top hat

a turban

a beret

a pinky signet ring

gold and black vest

a set of quill pens and ink

riding crop

WWI English Army uniform

riding lessons

a sphagnum gift set

a row boat

several rolls of wide brown packaging tape

black leather jacket with silver zippered pockets

black leather pants

Potion 9 hair treatment

A case of Zanzibar

An Arsenal team shirt

An Ant Farm

25. Go out and buy yourself:

Regency style dresses

various bonnets

Bluegray lightweight long sleeved sweater

A white scarf

Small cross necklace

Pride & Prejudice Paper dolls

A silver ingot

Several P & P sequels

A safari outfit

A low cut black cocktail dress

A case of vodka

A copy of "The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie"

Tiger striped bikini underwear, a light blue tank top and long white sweater

As part of your next fall/winter wardrobe you buy Spencer jackets in a variety of colors and materials.

26. Can not comprehend why someone doesn't know who Colin is.

27. Have urges to go running down the street in sneakers, underwear and a sweater in the dead of winter, as it snows.

28. Know exactly the sound of his voice and come running to the TV when you hear it!

29. Get birthday and Xmas day gifts for your spouse and it is 'Zanzibar'

30. Have every eBay buyer angry with you because you always overbid them on every Colin-related item that exists at eBay.

31. Have every eBay seller loving you because you're always willing to pay a higher price on Colin-related items.

32. Have the clerks at the local post office calling you 'your highness' and kissing your feet because you are the reason that they still have their employment.

33. Have several handsome dark curled hair guys litigating with you because you poke them into a lake.

34. Dislike Colin Farrell simply for having a name too close to our Colin's.

35. Search the internet for and bookmark every Colin Firth website

36. Begin to take interest in all happenings in England

37. Start to collect every Colin movie you can possibly find.

38. Scour the bookstores for anything remotely related to Colin.

39. Begin to collect movie posters but only those with Colin pictured.

40. Stay up later than anyone in your family so you can have "my Colin time"

41. Find the words "oh yes they fucking do" very sexy.

42. Listen to only Colin related cd's in car (a good way to start the day)

43. Have your family now start calling Colin Farrell "the bad Colin" or "not Mom's Colin".

44. Have your cell phone ring set to the tune of Pride and Prejudice

45. Unconsciously have made your favorite words "In vain I have struggled"

46. Buy "Playmaker" (even though you know it's a bad movie) just so you can get that slow mo view of Colin in all his glory. And have to get the German DVD version 'Death Date' because it's even better at one point. And you know you could care less that it's in German. You want the visuals

47. Know who Ever Ready Eddie is and use it in conversations with other firthaholics.

48. Watch BJD or P&P over the internet (one or the other), simultaneously, and in sync, with another firthaholic and make comments, comparisons and jokes while watching either or both. Then you both totally melt down.

49. Know the really Great shot of Colin in P&P.

50. Scour his many movies to get a really good look at his hands.

51. Are totally tongue tied when asked about him and just loose all composure trying to explain what it is that enamors you about him.

52. Scour your country for just the right looking silver mine and when you find it you hold out for a really good rain and Colin to appear carrying a candle.

53. Look for Ross Talbert's old house and wait in the shower.

54. Know what scenes in P&P are best viewed in ZOOM and SLOW MOTION (and there are several.)

ALSO: Fever Pitch and Femme Fatale

55. Decide to travel to France, disguised as a gypsy with a pig, but end up wandering the streets of Barnsbury, Islington instead. (and now Chiswick)

56. Have added "I Wanna Be Bad" to your top five songs

57. Are devastated by Jacks line in TIOBE "Then a passionate celibacy is all any of us can look forward to," but not because of what it means to the characters therein.

58. Have a sudden urge to get a tattoo, on your derriere.

59. Have been asked by someone -  how old you are you answer, "I'm 4 years, 8 months and 30 days older than Colin Firth." OR how tall you are you reply, "I'm exactly 8 inches shorter than Colin Firth."  OR what your best color is you say, "I adore Colin Firth in a deep shade of blue (aka Colinblue), but I look best in a simple black." AND you have no clue the reason the why, when that someone gets a panic-stricken look and starts very slowly to inch away from you. (stats are those of website host)

60. Can not, for the first time in your life, relate to your brother because he saw your list of movies and your pictures and said, "I know only about 2 or 3 of these movies and who IS that guy?"

61. Have the sudden urge to become a farmer in Iowa

62. Know that you could have played any female lead opposite Colin better than any of the actresses, in any movie, but would prefer the roles in Hour Of The Pig, Femme Fatale, Playmaker, Wings Of Fame, Circle Of Friends, Secret Laughter Of Women or Fever Pitch.

63. Must now save your money to take a trip to Provence, France (near Marseilles) and look for a particular cottage with a lake in hopes of finding a certain writer staying there. (sadly we have learned this burned down in the summer of 2003)

64. Decide to take a language immersion course in Portuguese

65. Would die to be Vermeer's muse.  All that grinding and stirring.

66. Find your local store carries Potion 9 by Sebastian.  You buy it just because, even if you never intend to use it.

67. Have an urge to take up mixing your own paints from scratch.

68. Want to be K. O'Connor right about now, but wouldn't settle for just seeing Vince's nicely tailored trousers.

69. Plan your next 'big' vacation as a ski trip to Lech, Austria

70. Insist your husband comment positively on your wobbly bits.

71. Wouldn't mind being an acting ant in Trauma right about now. (The places you could explore without direction)

72. Saw TEOR more times than you'll admit and each time you hoped that duvet cover would fall off.

73. Ask your DH or other significant "Where's the leather and chain mail?"

74. Most times you hear the word "Excalibur" or "The Enchanted Sword" in reference to Colin, you're not thinking about King Arthur's legendary sword.